MCreates

They say you know, when you know. I believe that. When I met a Greek guy from one of the dating sites, I did not immediately know that he will end up being my husband. It took a little longer than that. It took a week of daily conversations, sharing each others point of view, how we want our lives to be, then I knew it, he is the one I want to spend my life with.

Well, he wasn’t the first man I wanted to marry. Being born in a religious and conservative family, the goal is to marry the man I am with. Yet, things don’t always turn out that way – otherwise, I would have been married four times. Anyway, the most serious one was probably the last guy I was with before I met my husband. It was also the longest relationship – or should I say, situationship, that I had. I was so sure we were soulmates but then, it ended. A year later, I met a Greek guy online and cliche as it may be, the rest is history. We got married and now I am here, living in Greece and away from the things that I am used to. And as time goes by, the more I understand why I ended up with him and not the other guys. Thinking of how my life could have turned out with other men makes me even more grateful about my life now.

Before we got married, I would stay in Greece for a little over a month to be with him. It was long enough to get to know each other well, but not long enough to really have to adjust to life in a foreign country. I knew it was not going to be easy for me, yet, all the challenges were outweighed by the fact that I will finally be with him.

Greece, in many ways, is very similar to my country in terms of how we value family. Families are very closed knit in both. That is probably the easiest adjustment for me. His family has been really amazing. His mother has been very kind and sweet to me. Unfortunately, his father passed away even before we got married. The rest required some effort and some even required long discussions,, sometimes even some disagreements.

In the Philippines, I have been living with my sister for over 2 decades and we have great dynamics. She likes doing the things I don’t like, and vice versa. She also do most of the house cleaning plus there’s the cleaning services or a cleaning lady. Dishes are few. Laundry is done by someone else. The house is small but cozy. Neighbors sell food and parents bring some too. And with two girls, we didn’t really need to cook much. Food options are quite a lot.

In Greece, the house is big. My husband doesn’t like doing the things that I don’t like too. But then, there’s also a cleaning lady. Dishes can be a lot, though we have a dishwasher. Laundry is done by me. Either we order food or I cook, and it’s not ideal to order all the time. They have less food variety, though Greek food is amazing. I had to maintain a house now when before, I had my sister doing most of that. It was hard for me to adjust at times, so husband and I had to navigate through these challenges together.

Working while doing chores, not having enough time to do the things I love, sometimes make me anxious. It’s always been my principle not to get caught up with chores and not be able to live my life by doing the things that makes me happy or grow. And having to maintain a bigger house in a different country, comes with those responsibilities that I was not used to.

How can I manage doing all those chores while still doing what I want? There had been days when my anxiety level was really high, as I struggle to find that balance. My husband felt it. Though he encourages me to speak up and tell him everything, I didn’t want him to feel or think that I am unhappy. Yet, truth always comes out. It wasn’t just one conversation. We navigated through it together, daily, until we finally figure it out. From having the cleaning lady visit us more frequently, to buying a robot vacuum, my husband did all these to make my life easier. He helps me with the chores whenever he can. We have also assigned tasks to each other – he definitely is in-charge of taking the trash out.

Now, after four months of being here, I can say we are better. I even have the time to attend pottery classes every Tuesday. Well, we’re not at 100% yet and maybe, we won’t even get to 100%, but it really helps to talk things out. I guess the point is that, things will never be easy. Some days might even be harder then the others but, working through challenges together makes it easier to bear. Also, being with him, his kindness and patience, his nagging and cuddles, makes it worth it.